Exhaustion and I were well acquainted. If anyone asked me to go to a movie or a concert, my answer was always 'no' followed by the explanation of having to run here or there, helping this person or that person and never once did I consider what I wanted to do. Why? Because I did not have any idea about what I wanted.
I often share this truth: I learned more from my daughters than they will ever learn from me. Today, I continue to learn from the people I coach in business, and in life. I feel distinctly honored and grateful to work with these individuals on the journey we call life.
My past holidays consisted of three dinners I did not want or need, gifts that I did not want or need and I travelled more holiday miles in holiday traffic than anyone wanted or needed.
One Christmas when my oldest daughter was the precious age of three and a half, all of this chaos stopped. Amanda received a fully equipped play kitchen. The make believe phone rang and the conversation went like this: "Hi Nan Nan! Santa gave me a kitchen this year so I won't be coming to your house. I am going to stay home and cook and play with my toys."
Nan Nan got her call and I received mine and mine - was a WAKE UP! call. Not only did Amanda know what she wanted, she was able to express it to one of her most favorite people in the world.
My daughter's choice on that memorable Christmas morning was my turning point. I realized that staying home, lighting a fire and lounging in my favorite PJ's playing with Amanda all day is what I really wanted.
We announced to all of our friends and relatives - from this holiday moving forward - we would be home on Christmas day. We invited them to stop by if they so desired and we made it very clear we were not going anywhere! The initial response was shock that we dared to change the rules. However, after one year, everyone was on board and they actually enjoyed the idea of remaining home on December 25th. thereafter, we celebrated on a mutually agreed upon date on the front or back side of Christmas.
As I coach people over the holidays, I feel the stress from them that I felt over and over again. We are taught to be people-pleasers and very few of us really stop to think about what we really want.
I have a very good friend and for the last couple of years, she dreaded the holidays. In the days before the holiday approached, she swore that the following year she would escape and return when it was over. This year, she made the decision to do just that! And not only Christmas but the New Year too. She is taking over thirty nourishing days to do yoga, meditation and will simply BE.
Guess what? Her family is totally supportive. She made a choice this year and she received everything she needed in order to make it happen - including a friend who surprised her with a donation of frequent flyer miles. I can't wait to see the transformation when she returns home.
As I said, before I made the choice to create something different, the holidays were always stressful for me. As a child there was rarely money for gifts and most years we picked up the 'Charlie Brown' tree that was left on the lot on Christmas eve. The chaos was learned behavior.
Our relatives are our best teachers; they will mirror to us that voice in our head. It's the one that says, I have to - I have to - I have to. The have to's will cease when we decide to create what we want. I had a choice to create something different as an adult and I did.
This year, I encourage you to make a choice to do what you truly want. Spending time with my daughters is my gift. Although they are adults, we will be going to the Muppet movie together, sharing Thanksgiving dinner and playing Apples to Apples after our meal. On Christmas Eve we will go out to eat with my brother. On Christmas day we will have breakfast together before they are off to visit their Nan Nan who recently celebrated her 95th year! Just writing this warms my heart.
I invite you to choose to create something different by following the Action Steps below.
Out of the Box Action Steps for the Holidays
- Make a list of all the people and things you have in your life that you are grateful for.
- Sit quietly - in a place where you will not be interrupted.
- Close your eyes and meditate for 10 -15 minutes.
- Put your attention in the area of your heart and ask: What choices can I make that will make my holiday happy?
- Now... like the Nike add suggests: Just Do It!
- Congratulate yourself for making a CHOICE TO BE and to THRIVE your holidays.
From my heart to yours, I wish you and your family a holiday season filled with Fun, Love, Laughter and...
THRIVING CHOICES.
Namaste
Helen
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