Holidays: Survive or Thrive

For many years and many holidays, I lived on auto pilot.  I ran everywhere I was expected to be and visited everyone I was expected to visit.

Exhaustion and I were well acquainted.  If anyone asked me to go to a movie or a concert, my answer was always 'no' followed by the explanation of having to run here or there, helping this person or that person and never once did I consider what I wanted to do.  Why? Because I did not have any idea about what I wanted.

I often share this truth:  I learned more from my daughters than they will ever learn from me.  Today, I continue to learn from the people I coach in business, and in life.  I feel distinctly honored and grateful to work with these individuals on the journey we call life.

My past holidays consisted of three dinners I did not want or need, gifts that I did not want or need and I travelled more holiday miles in holiday traffic than anyone wanted or needed.

One Christmas when my oldest daughter was the precious age of three and a half, all of this chaos stopped.  Amanda received a fully equipped play kitchen.  The make believe phone rang and the conversation went like this:  "Hi Nan Nan!  Santa gave me a kitchen this year so I won't be coming to your house.  I am going to stay home and cook and play with my toys."

Nan Nan got her call and I received mine and mine - was a WAKE UP! call.  Not only did Amanda know what she wanted, she was able to express it to one of her most favorite people in the world.

My daughter's choice on that memorable Christmas morning was my turning point.  I realized that staying home, lighting a fire and lounging in my favorite PJ's playing with Amanda all day is what I really wanted.

We announced to all of our friends and relatives - from this holiday moving forward - we would be home on Christmas day.  We invited them to stop by if they so desired and we made it very clear we were not going anywhere!  The initial response was shock that we dared to change the rules.  However, after one year, everyone was on board and they actually enjoyed the idea of remaining home on December 25th.  thereafter, we celebrated on a mutually agreed upon date on the front or back side of Christmas.

As I coach people over the holidays, I feel the stress from them that I felt over and over again.  We are taught to be people-pleasers and very few of us really stop to think about what we really want.

I have a very good friend and for the last couple of years, she dreaded the holidays. In the days before the holiday approached, she swore that the following year she would escape and return when it was over.  This year, she made the decision to do just that!  And not only Christmas but the New Year too.  She is taking over thirty nourishing days to do yoga, meditation and will simply BE. 

Guess what?  Her family is totally supportive.  She made a choice this year and she received everything she needed in order to make it happen - including a friend who surprised her with a donation of frequent flyer miles.  I can't wait to see the transformation when she returns home.

As I said, before I made the choice to create something different, the holidays were always stressful for me.  As a child there was rarely money for gifts and most years we picked up the 'Charlie Brown' tree that was left on the lot on Christmas eve.  The chaos was learned behavior.

Our relatives are our best teachers; they will mirror to us that voice in our head.  It's the one that says, I have to - I have to - I have to.  The have to's will cease when we decide to create what we want.  I had a choice to create something different as an adult and I did.

This year, I encourage you to make a choice to do what you truly want.  Spending time with my daughters is my gift.  Although they are adults, we will be going to the Muppet movie together, sharing Thanksgiving dinner and playing Apples to Apples after our meal.  On Christmas Eve we will go out to eat with my brother.  On Christmas day we will have breakfast together before they are off to visit their Nan Nan who recently celebrated her 95th year!  Just writing this warms my heart.

I invite you to choose to create something different by following the Action Steps below.

Out of the Box Action Steps for the Holidays

1. Make a list of all the people and things you have in your life that you are grateful for.
2. Sit quietly - in a place where you will not be interrupted.
3. Close your eyes and meditate for 10 -15 minutes.
4. Put your attention in the area of your heart and ask:  What choices can I make that will make my holiday happy?
5. Now... like the Nike add suggests:  Just Do It!
6. Congratulate yourself for making a CHOICE TO BE and to THRIVE your holidays.

From my heart to yours, I wish you and your family a holiday season filled with Fun, Love, Laughter and...

THRIVING CHOICES.

Namaste

Helen

READY. SET. GOAL!

Did you ever watch a child anticipate an ice cream cone while standing in line? Mother and child discuss in full detail the possibilities of flavors and cones until the moment finally arrives and with cone in hand, the object of intention and desire, is consumed one tiny lick at a time.

Observe. Did your mouth water? Our brains are like homing torpedo's that work with our visualizations. Childlike energy is exactly what we need when we identify and set really big goals. And, like the choices in a dairy store freezer - the possibilities are endless.

Another necessity for the actualization of our dreams is detachment. Like a child, we understand what may come after a request; it is the object of our intention and desire.

Now, you may be asking yourself, 'How can I have an intention and desire AND be detached from the outcome?' (You may also be asking yourself 'when can I leave for ice cream.') That was a challenge for me as well. (Not the ice cream part - I keep my freezer fully stocked.)

Consider the following stories from my own life of how these two laws - The Law of Intention and Desire and The Law of Detachment, have worked in my life.

Story #1 happened over 30 years ago. I was a young financial planner and I decided I wanted to be in the top 20 of account executives with my company. At the time, I was at the bottom of the list and the visual was a tremendous stretch for me. I read that many people experienced success by visualizing what they want. I took it one step further and with the list of the top 20 from the previous year in hand; I crossed out # 20's name and wrote my name in. I dated and copied the list. I put a copy in my office desk drawer, in my home office, on my refrigerator and on my bathroom mirror.

There weren't many clue's for the HOW in this very "Out of the Box" goal, I simply felt the possibility. Every day I saw myself on the list, feeling great about being on the Presidents Club trip in the Bahamas with the other top producers. My business partner and I would talk about the fun and excitement - like children in line for ice cream - imagining what it would feel like to meet all the wonderful speakers like Sir John Templeton. The great one's and US - in the Bahamas!

At the end of the year I was #19 on the ACTUAL list and remained on the list every year after.

Story #2 illustrates both the Law of Detachment and the Law of Intention and Desire.

In the year 2000, Deepak Chopra encouraged my idea to write a book that incorporated the financial industry and the 7 Spiritual laws. (Details of this encounter are found in my June Blog) I began the adventure, hired a professional editor and eventually discovered a values conflict: In that moment, being with my young daughters was more important than the book.

A healthy detachment from the goal of having that book on the New York Times best sellers list, provided the possibility for the following events.

Placing this original book on the back burner, I responded to an opportunity to co-author Bouncing Back, thriving in Changing Times. One of the other authors in this book is Dr. Wayne Dyer. Our book made the Barnes and Noble best seller list. A little later I was asked to co-author another book with Marshall Goldsmith. I signed up, wrote and submitted my story - and waited. After waiting for what seemed to be an unusually long time, I called to see when I could expect to receive my copies and discovered that my story didn't make the book.

My old response would have asked indignantly, "What the heck?" but with my new belief system in place - EVERYTHING happens for a reason - I asked what my options were.

The response is as unbelievable to me now as it was then. On the other end of the phone I heard: "You can be part of Stepping Stones to Success with Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield and Dennis Waitley or... (I don't know what the woman said after that) I began my self improvement path listening to Dennis Waitley's tapes - not CD's - and later studied with Deepak Chopra and Jack Canfield. I could hardly believe what I was hearing and naturally, I said YES! Stepping Stones to Success is available now on Amazon.com

ATTACHMENT to the idea of the first book being on the New York Times best sellers list would have created missed opportunities. Uncovering my Purpose, Vision and Values and living in the moment detached from outcomes, allows this dream called life to be fun and exciting.

I once heard Deepak share that 'Magic happens in the uncertainty.' I now know this to be true.

Today, I am collecting stories for the book I began in the year 2000. It has taken on a very different look than the original idea. The name is: Live Out of the Box; Connecting Heart to Money, financial professionals share their heart and money stories with the world.

When I reflect on the financial services world in the year 2000 and now, I realize the timing for this book is perfect. I am grateful for the tools of letting go and detachment also realizing that when the timing is right - the goal flows with ease and grace.

I evolved since the year 2000. Today I am grateful for my tools and the many wonderful people in my life that also believe in this project. I am the person, speaker, financial services professional, mentor and author that can and will facilitate the process to deliver this much needed information. As I shared with some friends recently: "I believe these stories will change the way the world views the financial industry and money itself."

Perhaps I will forward a copy to congress.

Set your really BIG GOAL by following these steps:

1. Write down one really big goal. A goal that when it becomes part of your life will take care of many of the smaller goals you have.
2. Forget the HOW! If you already know how to accomplish a goal, it is not exciting enough to keep you engaged.
3. Make a visual of how your life looks once you manifest this goal. There are many ways to accomplish this: You can visualize your life, doing the things you want as if the goal is already in place. Also, step into this goal daily to enhance the excitement and accelerate the process. Get your mouth watering - like waiting for that ice cream cone.
4. Detach, live in the present moment and meditate daily. By releasing stress through meditating, you awaken the wonder within you and see all the synchronicity that comes your way.
   

~Jack Canfield shared a story about wanting to earn $100,000 so he taped a picture of a $100,000 bill on his bedroom ceiling and each morning he saw his life as if he already had the money. The following year, he had a little under $100,000 in income. Do you think he was disappointed? Absolutely not!

To download a free guided meditation visit: Out of the Box Institute.com

Remember
A dream come true is just a tough little wish
that wouldn't take no for an answer!

Next month we will be reviewing the Law of Intention and Desire and the Law of Karma as we explore Self Mastery. What does it take to have an identity of Abundance?

Identity is the strongest force in the Universe!

To learn more, check out the programs on our Website: Out of the Box Institute

Or, call Helen directly at 610-770-9972 to see if Zero to Abundance in 77 Days is right for you.

ALIGN YOUR VALUES WITH YOUR GOALS FOR SUCCESS

Helen Paulus

The Out of the Box Mentor ~ for life

Are your Values preventing you from reaching your goals?

Steven Covey said: "Many people climb the ladder of success only to find it leaning on the wrong building."

We often hear that experience is the best teacher. My life is filled with experience and I have been taught well. I learned what it looks like when values are in conflict with goals and today, I experience the Pure Potential of the Universe, flowing with ease and grace as my purpose, vision and values are in alignment with my goals.

The following story chronicles my learning curve.

I attended a Millennium event in Palm Springs, California with my two daughters and I literally walked into Deepak Chopra. Prior to this encounter, during one of my morning meditations, I saw an image of myself writing a book which integrated the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success with the Financial Services Industry.

Realizing the potential standing in front of me - Deepak Chopra, the author of the Seven Spiritual Laws - I had to ask him, "Is anyone writing a book of this nature?", without hesitation he responded, "No. You should write that book."

At the time I was excited. I also felt undeserving and fearful. Writing a book like this would change my life. In spite of a few old thinking patterns, the universe responded immediately and I returned home to find an ad for Arielle Ford's, 'Everything you should know about Publicity, Publishing and Writing a Book.' I ordered the kit and found a professional editor.

Writing was a challenge for me. I put the rough copies together and I sent them to Chad, my editor. My frustration mounted when every paragraph came back to me with multiple questions.

My brother John, a wise and witty man, was forced to listen to my opinions and discontent as we drove to an appointment. "Chad just didn't get it. I can't believe all these questions! Why does he continue to send all my drafts back with more questions?"

John, the wise and the witty one, asked, "Aren't you paying this guy?" "Yes" I retorted, thinking I'd found a sympathetic ear. Staying true to form, John suggested I call Chad and tell him, 'I thought I would send you the alphabet and you would send me my book.'

My frustration melted into laughter and I shared the story with Chad. He commented in all the years he's been an editor, that was the funniest thing he ever heard and it ought to be in my epilogue. He was also quick to remind me that his role was as an editor, not a ghost writer, and I could look forward to many more questions.

At that time, in order of priority, my values were: freedom & independence, love & connection, making a difference, authenticity & health. Fun was my 'trump card' and continues to be in my hall of fame. If what I am considering does NOT feel like fun - I decline.

As I wrote the chapters I took one step forward and two steps back. I repeated this behavior of progression and regression for one year and in a moment of clarity; I decided it was time for a retreat. Following a meditation, I uncovered what was blocking the flow of the Universe: I had a conflict in my values.

I knew (and still know) the book would Make a Difference in the world, however, completing and marketing a New York Times best seller would take me away from my love, connection and authenticity. This was a detour from my freedom and independence which I experienced through treasured time with my young school age daughters.

Once I uncovered this conflict in values, I asked myself what was more important in that moment. For me, it was being present to my daughters. Having this awareness released a tremendous amount of pressure and allowed me to BE where I really wanted to be.

My youngest daughter is entering her third year at Brandeis University and I have returned to the book. In its evolution I am inviting other financial professionals to submit their heartwarming stories encountered in their practices. The book title is "Live Out of the Box, Connecting Heart to Money; Financial Professionals share their heart and money stories with the world."

Today, collecting these life changing tales is in full alignment with my values. Divine timing provides the well lit path to assist me in the process of publishing these inspiring stories with the world.

Now, I have the freedom to expand my love and connection to the world and the independence to be authentic in the process. And for the first time in my life I am working with a trainer as an action step, honoring my value for health. It is all coming together!

Here is what you could do to manifest a dream in your life. You can activate the Law of Pure Potential by following these steps:

1. Make a list of your core values and place them in order of priority.
   
2. Clearly write what you want to manifest.
   
3. Review your values and determine where there may be a values conflict.
   
4. Meditate on what is most important to you in this moment, knowing there is Divine timing and perhaps all the players are not in place yet.

Join us next month and we will review the Law of Intention & Desire. I will demonstrate how to set goals that align with your purpose, vision and values.

For more information check out Zero to Abundance in 77 Days at http://www.outoftheboxinsititue.com/

Or call to speak with me about program participation

610-770-9972

Love, Light and Laughter

Helen Paulus

The Out of the Box Mentor ~ for life

Live the Life you Envision with the Universal Clue of Least Effort

Helen Keller, when asked by a reporter, "What could be worse than being blind?" She replied: “It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.”

In order to have what we say we want in life we must be willing to envision that life. Begin by writing a letter and date it one year from today. Address the letter to your best friend. Detail that vision as if you are already living it. This is a powerful way to set the energy in motion.



Do it. Sit down, date a piece of paper one year from today. Pick an aspect for your vision; relationship, health or career and begin.

Dear Suzy, Last year I lived the life of my dreams. I created wonderful relationships which I treasure and I met the partner of my dreams in January. We have so much in common….etc. You get the idea!

Write several letters on the various aspects of your life. Make it so lit up you will step into it right now. Include what you are being, doing, enjoying, having and thriving in.

Remember many times we limit our dreams by saying “oh, it’s really not so bad”. This single thought lets us off the hook and we fail to stretch and make the changes necessary for living the life we want. STOP MAKING EXCUSES or you will leave this life with your music inside you. Dream Big!

Are you thinking “Do I really want this”? Tony Robbins suggests a rocking chair test. Sit in a rocking chair, fast forward to the 90 year old version of YOU. Now ask yourself, 'will I be happier if I do this or not do this?' In my experience I am always happier when I take a risk and see myself sharing great things with the world. Our website and these blogs are examples of that for me.

Once you have the vision you want, create a vision board. Like a child with a new box of crayons, markers, scissors, paste – the required list for kindergarten – start having fun. Clip pictures from magazines that represent the items you described in your letters. Paste them to the poster board and add any words or affirmations that feel good to you. Keep this board visible, perhaps in your bedroom.

We at Out of The Box Institute have many stories on how this activity created magic in people’s lives. One year, I added a beautiful photo of Costa Rica to my board. That same year an organization I am passionate about – The Alliance for a New Humanity – had their annual conference in Costa Rica. Naturally I attended. It wasn’t until the following year I realized I had it on my board. Your brain works like a homing torpedo and it will continuously correct itself until you reach your goal.

To activate the Universal Clue of Least Effort:

1) Imagine life the way you really want it. DREAM BIG.
2) Write a letter to your best friend dated one year from today.
3) Create a Vision Board.
4) Allow yourself to have fun with this. Your childlike energy will accelerate the process.

Remember this: A dream come true is just a tough little wish that would not take no for an answer.

Join us next month as we look at the Universal Clue of Pure Potential and how it relates to your personal Values.

For more information, check out Zero to Abundance in 77 Days
at http://www.outoftheboxinstitute.com/

Call Helen directly at

610-770-9972

to see if this program is right for YOU!

Mother Nature is Spring Cleaning

Mother Nature appears to be providing us with a fast and furious Spring Cleaning.

Observing the devastation of storms across the globe and listening even now to the thunder outside my window, I am reminded of an experience that made a permanent imprint on my life.

In 1971, tropical storm Doria danced her way through the Northeast. Even with all of my street smarts, a quality that helped me to land a job as a security supervisor for a Retail Drug Store chain at the age of 19, I was unprepared to witness humanity in the various stages of shock. My partner and I were assigned the responsibility of evaluating flood damage in the Pennsylvania stores. I witnessed the impact of devastation first hand and I was humbled.


We drove through the neighborhoods that our stores served and I watched families rummage through their belongings. I could not stop the tears that followed. Of the thoughts that flooded my mind, there is one that stuck: Fire may be a gentler misfortune than a flood as there is but one decision to make - clean out and rebuild.

In my ongoing life process of clearing out, I continue to learn from Mother Nature. Sometimes destruction comes before renewal and I evaluate the 'stuff'.


For today, consider clearing out anything that no longer holds joyous energy for you, pass it on and allow it to begin anew.

Life Purpose - Do you have a Clue

We all come into Be-ing, imprinted with Unique gifts and special talents. YOU, have unique gifts and special talents you came to share with this wonderful world we live in.

The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran said, '... when you are born, your work is placed in your heart.' The challenge often associated with knowing what our work is, is that we find ourselves buried under a lifetime of limitations. The gift in this challenge of course, is that we do find ourselves.

In The Zero to Abundance in 77 Days teleconference, we reach a point in our discovery where the participation in a unique process provides access to the 'work placed in our heart'.

To uncover your purpose, start with this simple exercise:

1. List the five things you do daily/weekly/monthly/yearly that you don't like to do.
2. List the five things you do daily/weekly/monthly/yearly that you love to do.
3. Find a quiet spot where you won't be interupted. Sit comfortably. Close your eyes. Take a few deep cleansing breaths. Look as though looking through the eye of your heart, and go back to the time when you were around 5 years old. (When my daughter was a five year old, she carefully placed all of her dolls and stuffed animals in a lovely little circle. She would stand in the middle of this attentive group - and teach. Today, she is an animated, loving and delightfully structured secondary education teacher.) What did you love to do?
4. Write a purpose statement incorporating the five things you love to do and your five year olds' message. Start the statement with, 'The purpose of my life is...' or 'My purpose in life is...'

Keep this handy on an index card. Read it several times a day. Allow yourself to edit as you evolve into your work or purpose.

Congratulations! You have just uncovered what only 2% of the population knows on a conscious level. Let the synchronicities begin!

Join us next month as we explore values. One of my top values is to live my purpose.

The purpose of my life is to inspire others to embrace and express their life purpose with fun, love and laughter.

Universal Clue: Detachment

The Universe is a magical place for human expression and our lives can be surprisingly synchronistic provided we open a window, a door or a mind to the clues and magic that are in our world every minute.

Unfortunately, so many lives resemble the likes of Bill Murray’s character in the movie Groundhog Day, repeating patterns that equal a life without passion, joy or purpose. Remember, the definition of insanity: “Doing the same things over and over expecting different results.” It is important to realize that the same actions will always provide the same results.

Throughout the next 11 months we will be discussing how you can have the life you really want. I invite you to return each month as we share Universal Clues to assist you in the experience of a synchronistic life.

To begin your manifestation of magic, consider the following and often challenging statement which I frequently offer my clients; “If you want something different in your life, you must be willing to do something different.”

Join us as we explore simple yet powerful actions to enhance your life.

If you are willing to take action to create something different in your life, my promise is that your life will be filled with Fun, Purpose and Wonder.

Awaken the wisdom, magic and wonder within you today and every day.

Universal Clue: Detachment

You cannot invite the life you want if the vessel that is you – is full. To begin clearing out and activating the universal clue of detachment take the following three action steps…

1)Set an intention for your day. Upon awakening each day and before your feet hit the floor; imagine one positive thing you can do for the day. Make it so that it will bring fulfillment upon review at the completion of your day. And like the Nike ad suggests, JUST DO IT… TODAY.

2)Find one small thing you can clear out (or large thing if you are on the fast track to creating the life you want). It can be a purse, wallet, junk drawer, glove box in car, a closet, a section in the garage and clear it out before the end of the day. This creates space which becomes a vacuum for what you really want. Feel free to give stuff away.
Ask, Do I need it? Do I really want it? Have I used it in the past year?
If the answer is no, pass it on. Someone who loves it will add new and vibrant energy to the items that have become dust collectors for you.

3)Review the events of your day. Each night as you rest your head on your pillow, review your day as you would a movie on fast-forward. And you are not reviewing in order to give yourself a grade. The review is done with ZERO judgment. Be an observer. Release the day. Following the review and before you drift into peaceful sleep think of two things in your life that you are grateful for.

You are on your way!

Next month we will be looking at the Universal Clue of Least Effort. We will review how balanced our life is (or not). Steven Covey said “Most people climb the ladder of success only to find they are leaning on the wrong wall.”
Life balance is what allows us the benefit of living a fun-filled life with the least amount of Effort.

If you want to know more about Zero to Abundance in 77 days, check out our website outoftheboxinstitute.com

AND

Call Helen directly at 610-770-9972 to see if this program is the one for You!